Learning To Be happy For Others Without Questioning Your Own Journey
I think its safe to say we’ve all been there: Your best friend gets a new boo and she’s happy, going out on dates, receiving sweet text messages, etc. meanwhile you’re home alone watching reruns on Netflix with haystacks sitting in your inbox. Or your colleague gets that promotion that you’ve been working so hard to get, only to be left with a “We regret to inform..” email that you quickly click out of because you cannot stand to bear yet another rejection notice. Or better yet, Beyoncé (yes, as much as we stan for Beyoncé, we all wish we had Beyoncé’s life) slays yet again, making us question our own mediocre lives.
Then, you start to question, why isn’t that me? What am I doing wrong? Am I cursed? — No, really, I’ve pondered that question several times. And although your bestfriend, your colleague, and Beyoncé are just as deserving of their new found happiness, and you wish the best for them, you find yourself unable to be completely happy for them? Start feeling just a little salt-baeish? Why is that?
Its human nature to compare our lives to others when it seems like their life is much more blissful than ours, or their lives are progressing much faster than ours; but, the last thing we need is jealousy, envy, or even a little saltiness living in our hearts.
Comparison is the root of all things negative. Comparing your chapter one to someone else’s chapter three, is the quickest and easiest way to drive ourselves into misery and unhappiness — We don’t want that. There are stages in life, and we must learn to appreciate the stage that we are currently in, and understand that your light doesn’t dim because someone else’s light seems to be shining brighter. Everyone deserves what has come and is coming to them. Its already written in their stars, and so is yours. Your time is coming.
In the mean time, work on being a better you so you can slay like Beyoncé when your time arrives. Love yours.
Below I listed 3 ways to learn how to be happy for others with the absence of comparison.
1. Express Gratitude
Look around you, and think about it; really. Look around and realize that once upon of time, you only dreamed about the things you now have. Expressing gratitude for the things you have while working towards better allows you to be more happy on your journey. Things could always be much worse.
2. Trust the process
By now, it may sound like a cliché; “Trust the process,” they say as if its suddenly supposed to make you feel better. But, all it means is to practice the art of patience. Practice patience, and put all of your faith in God. “What God does for us while we wait, is more important than what we are waiting for.”
3. Shift Your Perspective
Maybe you are dateless on another Friday night, didn’t get that promotion, and you aren’t Beyoncé. But, the beautiful thing is that you get to be a witness to all things possible. You get to witness that true love does exists, that one day you’ll be able to have that dream position, and if you work hard enough, you can live like Beyoncé. Truth be told, when you’re happy for others, that is where you find your happiness as well.
No one is exempt from greatness. We’re all meant to live the life that we desire. Realistically, we’re not all going to arrive at our destinations at the same time, and that is okay. The most important thing is that you continue to stay true to who you are, and find your happiness in the happiness of others.